Drinking from a Cup of Uncertainty - My Lessons from a Life of Faith and Some Undesirable Results
When God started revealing His plans and purpose for my life, He used dreams to do so. In 2012, I had my first dream — where I saw myself moving back to my old town and having a conversation with my family about Jesus. A few weeks later, that exact conversation took place in real life over Thanksgiving dinner. A couple years later, I moved back to my hometown. Neither of those things would I have expected to come true.
Before Christ, I had no desire to move back to a declining St. Louis suburb of my youth. My family had also never had a conversation about Jesus in my entire life. After Christ, God gave me a dream of both things happening and they both came true. I immediately began recording my dreams. Not every dream came true, but there seemed to be a lot of evidence that God was using dreams to communicate with me. I asked other believers if this was normal. After all, I was a fresh and clean baby Christian. Unaware of the deep truths of communicating with God.
I was assured by other believers and dozens of Scriptures that God sometimes uses dreams to speak to His people. Joseph had dreams about being above his brothers (Genesis 37). Mary and Joseph were given dreams that contained instructions surrounding the event that was birth of the Jesus the Messiah(Matthew 1:20, 2:12-13 . Several of the Apostles are recorded having God given dreams/visions to direct their paths and reveal events yet to happen.
I started to write down my dreams so I wouldn’t forget them. I have evidence that God showed me names of people I would meet like Tony and Caleb. God said those two men would be part of Testimony House. Tony, I met the first day we started but it took six years to meet Caleb.
I wrote down other dreams concerning meeting my wife and the clothes she would be wearing the day we meet. I described meeting my wife whose, “face I could not see clearly because she was wearing something on her head and her face was covered by dark glasses.” My wife says, she had a photoshoot earlier that day, and the giant headband she wore the day we meet was the only time she had ever worn it.
Six years ago, I had a dream where “I was in a bookstore, searching for this book I wrote that had just been released. People in the store were coming up to me and congratulating me for what I had written. I wasn’t sure if they were being sincere since they couldn’t have had enough time to actually read it. Nonetheless, I was still searching not knowing why everyone else could find they book what I could not find. Then in the back of this store, on a large wooden shelf in a nice display was my book. It was called Finding Faith.”
in 2013, without any previous desire to write a book or the confidence to do so I sat at my computer slowly praying and typing the words, stories and Scriptures that came to my mind. Two years later, Finding Faith was released and fulfilling the dream God showed me three years prior.
I can’t make you believe the things I am saying are true. I can only tell you what happened and you can make that determination for yourself. If God isn’t real, how was I able to predict conversations, names and events that would come. If Jesus didn’t have a plan for my life, how can I reconcile having dreams about meeting my wife and writing a book called Finding Faith before either event happened.
Finding Faith sold less than 250 copies. I have fractured relationships with family and friends do to my eagerness to talk and live the life I believe God has for me. There are other names I saw in dreams of people that I haven’t met yet. If I was doing all of this on my own, what’s the point of still talking about these things when the results of these testimonies in context seem a lot less extraordinary than the how I originally presented them? Because God has a plan for your life too and the results shouldn’t determine your faith for the next step in the plan.
I am releasing my second book, God Has a Sentence for Your Life in less than two weeks. This book is the culmination of my what I have seen and learned during six years of walking by faith with God. Based on the previous book sales results of Finding Faith, however, it would seem my sales won’t be that great. Results are not what I am after. I desire to do what God asks and stand on His promises regardless of what it looks like.
I would’ve given up believing for the revival of St. Louis I dreamed about if I focused on the crime and homelessness of our city. I wouldn’t continue to dedicate any more of my time and energy to Testimony House if I needed results because it has never provided a paycheck for my family.
In the Bible, David was the King, but also broke all ten commandments during the ordeal with Bathsheba. Paul spent time in prison, was stoned and shipwrecked. Abraham saw family quarrels and doubt kill people he loved. Mary saw her Son Jesus bleed and tortured prior to His death.
If we only looked at our circumstances or past results we would miss some of the best parts of those stories. David’s family line produced the Son of God. Paul wrote letters that became part of our Bible and encourages billions of people thousands of years later. Abraham is the father of our faith and songs and stories are still being told about him. Mary is one of the most beloved women in the history of this Earth.
Yet, all of those testimonies contain moments that, from the outside, would make them seem like God was not with there. No one can make you believe the incredible testimonies of those men and women of God. You have to do that for yourself. But even the greatest testimonies have less than desirable results.
Results are not the goal. Faithfully serving God is the goal. When you serve God the right results will always come. They may not be seen in the moment, but looking back, the results of your faith filled efforts will be hard to miss.
Your previous results do not define your future. Your negative circumstances don’t prevent you from fulfilling everything God has for you. Your faith should not rely on what others think. You are a child of God, created and designed to do good works through Christ Jesus.
God wants to communicate with you what those plans are. He may use dreams. He may use His word. He may show up right away. He may take six years. You may not see the results you expect, but you can always learn something through the process.
Your life has purpose. Your life has meaning. You are important to God. God has a sentence for you. Will you write it?
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